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SI )YE SONNETS 
"" OF AN 
OFFICE BOY 




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LOVE SONNETS OF AN 
OFFICE BOY 



LOVE SONNETS 
OF AN OFFICE BOY 

By 

SAMUEL ELLSWORTH KISER 

Illustrated by 

JOHN T. McCUTCHEON 




ENLARGED EDITION 
CHICAGO 

FORBES & COMPANY 
1917 






Copyright, 1902, 1917 
By Forbes & Company 



SEP 20 1917 



'CU476165 



V2^ / 



LOVE SONNETS OF AN 
OFFICE BOY 



/^ UR new typewriter lady 's came ; she 's 
got 

The chorus girls all beat a mile or two ; 

Her eyes are big and soft and kind of blue ; 
Before she spoke to me I never thought 
The world could be so pleasant; every spot 

She touches seems to brighten up; I knew 

The minute I first seen her I was due 
To like her for the gladness that she brought. 

She shows a lot of class, all right, all right; 

Her shape is lovely, and she 's full of 
style ; 
I feel all kind of trembulish and light 

Around the head when she begins to smile ; 
It used to seem to be so long till night, 

But now a day is just a little while. 



II. 

ONE time, before she come, I thought I M 
quit, 
Because they wouldn't let me have a raise; 
I 'm glad now that I didn't go; it pays 
Sometimes to think again and wait a bit. 
If I would know a place where I could git 
.Twice what they pay me here, and holi- 
days. 
Without no lyin' when the home team 
plays, 
I wonder if you think I 'd beat it? Nit! 

I would n't jump this job while she is here, 
Because some morning mebby there might 
be 
An earthquake or a flood, and, filled with 
fear. 
The boss and clerk would run, and when 
she 'd see 
That I was not a-scared, but lingered near. 
She might be glad to snuggle close to me. 



III. 

/^H, if you only knowed how much I like 
^^ To stand here, when the " old man " 
ain't around. 
And watch your soft, white fingers while 
you pound 
Away at them there keys ! Each time you 
strike 
It almost seems to me as though you *d 
found 
Some way, while writin* letters, how to play 
Sweet music on that thing, because the 
sound 
Is something I could listen to all day. 

You *re twenty -five or six and I *m fourteen, 
And you don't hardly ever notice me — 
But when you do, you call me Willie ! Gee, 

I wisht I 'd bundles of the old long green 
And could be twenty-eight or nine or so, 
And something happened to your other 
beau. 



IV. 

T HEARD the old man scoldin' yesterday 
Because your spellin* didn't suit him 
quite ; 
He said you 'd better go to school at night. 
And you was rattled when he turned away ; 

You had to tear the letter up and write 
It all again, and when nobody seen 

I went and dented in his hat for spite : 
That 's what he got for treatin' you so mean. 

I wish that you typewrote for me and we 
Was far off on an island, all alone ; 

I 'd fix a place up under some nice tree. 

And every time your fingers struck a key 
I 'd grab your hands and hold them in 
my own, 

And any way you spelt would do for me. 



T 'VE got a little hairpin that she wore ; 
•■■ One day she took it out and scratched 
her head 
Until I guess it must of nearly bled, 
And then I seen her drop it on the floor; 
I've got a place next to my heart that's sore 
Where I have had it fassened with a 

thread, 
And every night I put it in my bed — 
I wisht that some time she 'd drop something 
more. 

It seems to me when she looks in my eyes 
That everything goes round and round and 
round, 
And I can feel my heart begin to rise 

Up almost where my tonsils are and pound. 
And if she smiles a Httle bit or sighs 

My feet get light and hardly touch the 
ground. 



10 



VI. 

VT'ESTERDAY I stood behind her chair, 
■*• When she was kind of bendin' down 
to write, 
And I could see her neck, so soft and 
white. 
And notice where the poker singed her hair, 
And then she looked around and seen me 
there 
And kind of smiled, and I could seem to 
feel 
A sudden, empty, sinkish feelin' where 
The vittles are when I have eat a meal. 

If I would know that some poor girl loved me 
As much as I do her, sometimes I'd take 
Her in my arms a little while and make 
Her happy, just for kindness and to see 
The pleased look that acrost her face 'ud 
break 
And hear the sighs that showed how glad 
she 'd be. 



11 



VII. 

T WISH a fire *d start up here, some day, 
•^ And all the rest would run away from 
you — 
The boss and that long-legged book- 
keeper, too. 
That you keep smilin* at — and after they 
Was all down-stairs you *d holler out and 
say : 
" Won't no one come and save me ? Must 

I choke 
And die alone here in the heat and smoke ? 
Oh, cowards that they was to run away ! " 

And then I *d come and grab you up and go 
Out through the hall and down the stairs, 

and when 
I got you saved the crowd would cheer, 
and then 
They 'd take me to the hospital, and so 
You 'd come and stay beside me there and 

cry 
And say you *d hate to live if I would die. 



12 



VIII. 

CHE telephoned a little while ago 

^ And after she had quit and was n't there, 

I went and put my mouth up to it where 
Her soft, red lips had nearly touched, and, 

oh, 
Somehow it kind of almost seemed as though 

I breathed the breath she left; the very 
chair 

She sets In Is a thing I touch with care 
When I go past, because I love her so. 

She keeps her tooth brush In her drawer; I 
seen 
Her put It there this morning when she 
knew 
That I was lookln' ; hers are white and clean; 
I wonder If, to-night, when she gets 
through 
And no one else is here, It would be mean 
For me to brush my teeth a little, too ? 



14 



IX. 

THE lock IS broken on her desk; last night 
When all the rest had went I stayed 
and let 
Them think that I was keepin' busy yet, 
And when the boss and clerk got out of sight, 
I snuck her tooth brush from the drawer, all 
right; 
I kind of trembled and could feel the sweat 
Come on my forrid, but I got it wet 
And started in to brush with all my might. 

If we could git the things we try to git. 
We 'd be as happy, all of us, as kings, 

And never have to brace ourselves a bit 
To bear the sadness disappointment 
brings ; 

The brush was full of oil and dirt and grit; 
I guess she 'd used it on the keys and things. 



15 



X. 

\X7HEN you *re typewrltin' and that 
long-legged clerk 
Tips back there on his chair and smiles 

at you. 
And you look up and get to smiHn*, too, 
I *d like to go and give his chair a jerk 
And send him flyin* till his head went 
through 
The door that goes out to the hall, and 
when 
They picked him up he 'd be all black 
and blue 
And you *d be nearly busted laughin' then. 

But if I done it, maybe you would run 
And hold his head and smooth his hair 

and say 
It made you sad that he got dumped that 
way. 
And I 'd get hoisted out for what I done — 
I wish that he 'd get fired and you 'd stay 
And suddenly I *d be a man some day. 



16 



XL 

TF I was grown to be a man, and you 

And all the others that are workin' here 
Was always under me, and I could clear 

The place to-morrow if I wanted to, 

I 'd buy an easy chair all nice and new 
And get a bird to sing above your head. 
And let you set and rest all day, instead 

Of hammerin' them keys the way you do. 

I 'd bounce that long-legged clerk and then 

I *d raise 
Your wages and move up my desk beside 
Where you *d be settin,* restin' there, 

and I 'd 
Not care about the weather — all the days 
Would make me glad, and in the evenings 

then 
I *d wish *t was time to start to work 

again. 



18 



XII. 

npHIS morning when that homely, long- 
legged clerk 
Come in he had a rose he got somewhere ; 
He went and kind of leaned against her 
chair, 
Instead of goin' on about his work. 
And stood around and talked to her awhile. 
Because the boss was out, — and both 

took care 
To watch the door ; and when he left her 
there 
He dropped the flower with a sickish smile. 

I snuck it from the glass of water she 
Had stuck it in, and tore it up and put 
It on the floor and smashed it with my 
foot. 
When neither him nor her was watchin' 
me — 
I 'd like to rub the stem acrost his nose, 
And I wish they 'd never be another rose. 



20 



XIII. 

VT'ESTERDAY I watched you when you 
^ set 

There with your little lunch-box in your 

lap; 
I seen you nibble at a ginger snap. 
And wished that where your lips had made 

it wet 
I 'd have a chance to take a bite and let 
My mouth be right where yours was be- 
fore ; 
And after you had got your apple e't. 

And was n't lookin', I picked up the core. 

I pressed my mouth against it then, and so 
It seemed almost the same as kissin* you. 
Your teeth had touched it, and your red 
lips, too. 
And it was good and tasted sweet, and, oh, 
I wished you *d bring an apple every day 
And I could have the cores you *d throw 
away. 



21 



XIV. 

T WISH, when you was through your work 
some night 
And goin' home alone, and had your pay 
Stuck in your stockin' — what you drew 
that day — 
A robber 'd come along with all his might 
And you 'd be nearly scared to death, and 
right 
There in the street you 'd almost faint and 

say : 
" Good robber, please don't hurt me — 
go away ! " 
And as he grabbed you then I *d come in 
sight. 

I wish I 'd be as strong as two or three 
Big giants then, and when I handed one 
Out to him he 'd be through, all in, and 
done. 
And then you *d look and see that it was me. 
And, thinkin* of the great escape you 

had, 
You *d snuggle in my arms and just be glad. 



22 



XV. 

TLJER brother come this morning with a 
^ ^ note 

What said that she was home and sick in 
bed ; 

She 's got an awful bad cold in her head — 
They think it might run into the sore throat, 
And oh, what if she 'd not come back again. 

And they would get some other girl instead 

Of her to typewrite here, and she *d be 
dead? 
I would n*t care no more for nothin* then. 

I wish I was the doctor that they *d get. 
And when I 'd take her pulse I 'd hold 
her hand 
And say " Poor little girl ! " to her, and set 
Beside the bed awhile and kind of let 

My arm go 'round her, slow and careful, 
and 
Say, " Now put out your tongue a little, pet." 



24 



XVI. 

CHE'S back to work again; I'm awful 
^ glad; 

When she was sick it seemed to me as 

though 
The clocks all got to goin' kind of slow, 
And every key she pounds looked kind of sad. 
It's tough to have to hear her coughin' 
so — 
I wish that I could take her cold and she 
Would know I took it, and not have to 
blow 
Her nose no more, and be as well as me. 

She takes some kind of cough stuff in a 
spoon, 
I seen her lickin* it this morning when 
She took a dose and put it down again. 
And when the rest went out awhile at noon 
I got her spoon and licked it, and it seemed 
As though it all was something nice I 
dreamed. 



25 



XVII. 

T AST night I dreamed about her in my 
sleep ; 
I thought that her and me had went away 
Out on some hill where birds sung 'round 
all day. 
And I had got a job of herdin' sheep. 
I thought that she had went along to keep 
Me company, and we'd set around for 

hours 
Just lovin', and I 'd go and gather flowers 
And pile them at her feet, all in a heap. 

It seemed to me like heaven, bein' there 
With only her besides the sheep and birds. 
And us not sayin' anything but words 

About the way we loved. I would n't care 
To ever wake again if I could still 
Dream we was there forever on the hill. 



26 



XVIII. 

npHIS morning when we come to Work I 
got 
Jammed in the elevator back of you, and 

there 
They made you stick your elbow in me 
where 
The mince pie lands ; the lunch that I had 
brought 
Was all smashed flat, but still I didn't 
care ; 
You leaned against me, for you couldn't 

stand 
Because the ones in front were crowdin', and 
My nose was pressed deep into your back 
hair. 

I wish we 'd had to go ten times as high. 
Or else that we 'd be shootin' upward yet. 
And never stop no more until we 'd get 

Away above the clouds and in the sky, 
And you 'd lean back forevermore and let 

Your hairpins always jab me in the eye. 



28 



XIX. 

T^T'HEN her and me were here alone, at 
^ noon, 

And she had bit a pickle square in two, 
I set and watched and listened to her 
chew, 
And thought how sweet she was, and pretty 

soon 
She happened to look down at me and say : 
" You seem so sad, poor boy ; what *s 

wrong with you ? " 
And then I got to shiverin* all through 
And wished that I was forty miles away. 

I tried to think of some excuse to make. 
But something seemed all whirly in my 

head. 
And so the first blame thing I knew I 
said : 
" It *s nothin' only just the stummick ache." 
Sometimes I almost wisht that I was dead 
For settin' there and makin' such a break. 



XX. 

T AST night I heard Jones astin' you to 

go 

To see the opery next Thursday night, 
And you said yes — and he '11 be settin* 
right 
Beside you there all through the whole 

blamed show. 
And you '11 be touchin' him with your 
elbow. 
And mebby he '11 say things that tickle 

you 
And buy a box of chock'luts for you, too. 
And I '11 not be around nor never know. 

I wish I 'd be the hero on the stage. 

And you was the fair maiden that got 

stoled, 
And he would be the villain that would 
hold 
You frettin' like a song-bird in its cage — 
And then I 'd come along and smash him 

one. 
And you 'd say : " Take me, dear, for 
what you done." 

30 



XXI. 

XXZHEN I was dustin' off her desk one 
day, 
And she was standin* there, I took the 

pad 
She writes on when she gets dictates and 
had 
A notion to tear off a leaf and lay 
It up against my heart at night, when they 
Was something made her come to where 

I stood 
And say, " Poor boy," as softly as she 
could — 
It almost seemed to take my breath away. 

That night I could n't sleep at all becuz 
The thoughts about them words that she 

had said 
Kep' all the time a-goin* through my head 
With thoughts about how beautiful she wuz, 
And then I knowed she loved me, too, 

or she 
Would not of cared how hard I worked, 
you see. 



32 



XXII. 

T *D like to nave a lock of her brown hair, 
For that would be a part of her, you 
know; 
And if she 'd tie it with a little bow 
Of ribbon, then I 'd fasten it somewhere 
Clear down inside, next to my heart, to 
wear. 
And fix it over every week or so. 
When I changed undershirts, or maw 
she 'd go 
And raise a fuss because she found it there. 

One day when bizness was n*t on the boom 
She trimmed her finger - nails, and one 
piece flew 
To where I was, almost acrost the room ; 
I watched the spot where it went tum- 
bhn* to. 
And now a piece of her is mine ; it come 
Right from the end of her dear little thumb. 



33 



XXIII. 

T WISH, some day, when she 's typewritin' 
and 
1 Ve took a note out for the boss some- 
where. 
They 'd be some outlaws sneak In here 
and scare 
That long-legged clerk to death and then 
the band 
Would steal her, and nobody else would 
dare 
To try to save her, and they 'd run away 
To where they had their cave, and keep 
her there, 
And ast more for her than her folks could pay. 

Then I would get a gun and bowie-knife 
And take the name of Buckskin Bob or Joe, 
And track them to their den, and then 
I'd go 
A-galley whoopin* in, and save her life. 
And she would say : " My hero 's came 

at last ! " 
And we'd stand there and hold each 
other fast. 

34 



XXIV. 

T AST night, when she 'd got on her coat 

and hat 
And felt her dress behind and then her 

hair. 
To see if everything was all right there. 
She stopped and said : " Well, now just look 

at that ! " 
And then put out one foot a little bit, 

And says : " Ain't that provokin' ? I 

declare. 
The string 's untied ! *' She put it on a 
chair, 
A-motionin' for me to fasten it. 

So then that long-legged clerk he pushed 
me back 
And grabbed the shoe-strings that were 

hangin' down — 
I wish I was the strongest man in town — 
Oh, would n't I of let him have a whack ! 
And I 'd of kicked him so blamed hard 

I'll bet 
He 'd wonder what he might come down 
on yet. 

36 



XXV. 

TV^Y darling, often when you set and think 

Of things that seem to kind of bother 

you, 

You put your pencil in your mouth and 

chew 

Around the wood, and let your sweet teeth 

sink 
Down in it till it 's all marked up and split. 
And yesterday I seen you when you threw 
A stub away that you 'd bit up ; it flew 
Behind the bookcase, where I gobbled it. 

I put it in my mouth, the way you 'd done. 

And I could feel the little holes you made — 

The places where your teeth sunk in — I 

laid 

My tongue tight up against them, every one. 

And shut my eyes, and then you seemed 

to be 
There with your lips on mine and kissin' 
me. 



37 



XXVI. 

XXiTHEN I was tellin' ma, two days ago. 
About our beautiful typewriter girl 
She dropped the dough and give a sudden 
whirl 
And said : " She 's twic't as old as you, you 

know — 
She must be twenty-five or six or so. 

Don't think about her any more, my dear. 

And you and me '11 be always happy here — 

Besides, she 's nothing but an old scarecrow." 

It made me sad to hear her talk that way ; 
My darling *s just a little girl almost — 
I can't see why ma give her such a roast. 

And I could hardly eat my lunch next day. 
For every time I took a bite of bread 
I almost hated ma for what she said. 



38 



XXVII. 

'T^HE other day a rusty pen got stuck 

Away deep in her finger, and she held 
Her poor, dear little hand up then and 
yelled 
For me to hurry over there and suck 
The poison out, and when I went I struck 
My toe against the old man's cuspidor 
And rolled about eight feet along the floor 
Before I knew what happened, blame the 
luck! 

When I set up and looked around, at last 
That long-legged, homely clerk was there, 

and so 
He had her finger in his mouth, and, oh, 
I '11 bet you I 'd 'a' kicked him if I dast ! 
I never seen the beat the way things go 
When there 's a chance for me to stand a 
show. 



40 



XXVIII. 

CHE^S got a dimple in her chin, and, oh, 

^ How soft and cute it looks ! Her eyes 

are blue; 

The red seems always tryin' to peep 

through 

The smoothness of her cheeks. I 'd like to go 

And lay my face up next to hers and throw • 

My arms around her neck, with just us 

two 
Alone together, and not carin' who 
Might scold if they should see us actin' so. 

If I was boss I'd have an auto here 

To take her to her home in every night; 

I 'd tell the driver that he needn't fear 
That we was in a rush, and holdin' tight 

With both hands I would whisper in her ear 
While we were snuggled back there, out of 
sight. 



41 



XXIX. 

T DON'T care if she 's twic*t as old as me, 
•*• For I Ve been figgerin* and figgers 
shows 
That I '11 grow older faster than she grows. 
And when I 'm twenty-one or so, why, she 
Won't be near twic't as old as me no more. 
And then almost the first thing that she 

knows 
I might ketch up to her some day, I 
s'pose. 
And both of us be gladder than before. 

When I get whiskers I can let them grow 
All up and down my cheeks and on my 

chin. 
And in a little while they might begin 
To make me look as old as her, and so 
She 'd snuggle up to me and call me 

" paw." 
And then I 'd call her " pet " instead of 
" maw." 



42 



XXX. 

/^NE morning when the boss was out 
^^^ somewhere 
And when the clerk was at the bank and 

me 
And her was here alone together, she 
Let out a screech and jumped up in the air 
And grabbed her skirts and yelled : " A 
mouse ! " And there 
One come a-runnin' right at her, and, gee ! 
They was n't a blame thing that I could 
see 
To whack it with, except an office chair. 

I grabbed one up and made a smash and hit 
Her desk and broke a leg clear off some- 
how. 
And when the boss came back and looked 
at it 
He said that I would have to pay, and 
now. 
When ma finds out I know just what I '11 

Next pay-day there will be an awful row. 



44 



XXXI. 

TT 'S over now ; the blow has fell at last ; 
It seems as though the sun can't shine 
no more, 
And nothing looks the way it did before ; 
The glad thoughts that I used to think are 

past. 
Her desk *s shut up to-day, the lid *s locked 
fast; 
The keys where she typewrote are still ; 

her chair 
Looks sad and lonesome standin' empty 
there — 
I 'd like to let t1ie tears come if I dast. 

This morning when the boss come in he 
found 
A letter that he 'd got from her, and so 
He read it over twice and turned around 
And said : " The little fool 's got mar- 
ried ! " Oh, 
It seemed as if I 'd sink down through the 
ground. 
And never peep no more — I did n't, 
though. 

45 



XXXII. 

npHE chap 's a beau we did n't know she 
■■■ had, 

He come from out of town somewhere, 

they say ; 
I hope he 's awful homely, and that they 
Will fight like cats and dogs and both be 

sad. 
But still there 's one thing makes me kind 
of glad : 
The long-legged clerk must stay and work 

away. 
And, though he keeps pretendin' to be 

gay. 

It *s plain enough to see he *s feelin* bad. 

I wish when I *m a man and rich and proud, 
She 'd see me, tall and handsome then, 

and be 
Blamed sorry that she did n't wait for me. 
And that she 'd hear the people cheerin' 

loud 
When I went past, and down there in th? 
crowd 
I *d see her lookin' at me sorrowf *ly. 

46 



BEN KING'S VERSE 

If I should die to-night 
And you should come to my cold corpse and say, 
Weeping and heartsick o'er my lifeless clay — 

If I should die to-night 
And you should come in deepest grief and woe 
And say, " Here 's that ten dollars that I owe " — 

I might arise in my large white cravat 

And say, " What 's that ? " 

If I should die to-night 
And you should come to my cold corpse and kneel, 
Clasping my bier to show the grief you feel — 

I say, if I should die to-night 
And you should come to me, and there and then 
Just even hint 'bout payin' me that ten, 

I might arise the while ; 

But I 'd drop dead again. 

(From " Ben King's Versed) 

"•Ben King's Verse' will be appreciated by all who 
enjoy good things." — John Kendrick Bangs. 

•' Ben King's verses may be recommended to those 
suffering from melancholy." — The Chicago Daily News. 

" Lovers of real poetry and of quaint, whimsical humor 
will treasure * Ben King's Verse ' as a volume which can 
be read and re-read with pleasure, a companion for all 
moods and times." — The Journalist (New York), 

Beautifully made. 2ga pages. Price, $i.2J 

FORBES & COMPANY, Publishers 



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